Friday, November 18, 2011

Love letters to Hadley

Dearest Hadley,

How can it be that on this day one year ago, you were delivered into my arms? After months of prayer and petition, you were finally mine. I woke up at 5:30 in the morning and got ready for the short drive to the hospital.  I took one last bath, went through the hospital bag for the 100th time, took one last look at your sweet little nursery and we headed out the door as the last time as a family of two. The hospital was dark and quiet at 5:30 in the morning and we had our pick of parking spaces. I got butterflies as we checked into labor and delivery. After an hour or so of preparations and paperwork, we called our families to tell them where we were and that we were ready for them to come.  Dr. Michelsen came to see us and told us she would be back that afternoon so we could meet our daughter.  It was a great day- there was an excitement that I know I will never feel again. You were going to be born soon and you were going to make me a mother. Daddy and I held hands and said a short prayer when the nurse said it was time. At 6:13 pm you were born with so much dark hair and according to Dr. Michelsen "the most gorgeous lips she's ever seen".  You were put right onto my heart and I let out a sob that I had been holding in. You were more perfect and beautiful that anything I could have ever dreamed for. 

Today you are a spunky little toddler with big eyes and the most infectious (still gummy) grin I've ever seen. You yell at me in the mornings until I come to your room. You light up when I crack the door - it's almost like you are so shocked I came back and can't believe you get to see me again. Trust me when I tell you that it is the single best moment of my day. You are such a mommy's girl and I love it.

You have the sweetest little spirit and are the happiest baby I know. You almost never have a frown on your face and find everything funny. You have found your voice and its so sweet.  I wouldn't say you are a "fit pitcher", but you certainly let it be known when you are unhappy in your surroundings.  You love attention but don't love big crowds. You don't like being sick and right now we are battling our first ear infection. 

There are so many little things that I love about you... how you will sit and "read" your books for as long as I will let you, how you reach out and touch everything with an open palm and scratch your fingers up and down the new surface, how you put both of your chubby hands on my cheeks when I hold you, how you squeal when daddy comes home, how you will pick up your paci off the ground with your mouth. I love how you baby your Elmo doll and share your paci and bottle with him. I love how you look back at me for reassurance when something new or someone new in in the room. I love how your eyes search the room for me and daddy when we walk away. I love that you are becoming more independent, but even more I love that sometimes the only place you want to be in in my arms. I love that when I'm rocking you to sleep you lay your head on my shoulder and you run your hands through my hair and down my face. I just love you. 

I could list a hundred reasons why you are my best girl, but then I'd just have a hundred more and a hundred more after that. You are an incredible blessing and I will never fail to thank God every time I see your face. You were the answer to a thousand prayers and will be cherished every moment of your life. I cannot wait to see you this morning... to hold you and snuggle you on your very first birthday. I anticipate that moment almost as much as I did twelve short months ago.

Love you,